Didn't pick a card today.
Day got off to a rocky start. Last night I finally went to bed (round two, after the wakeup call at 2) at 5 am. Kinda neat drifting off as daylight starts to drift in. Neat that is, when you don't have to get up the next morning. Alarm went off at 6:30. Put pillow over my head and left Andy to his own devices.
I woke up again at 10:30. But didn't wake up on my own, the cat (Dexter) wanted attention and started poking me in the face. When I wake up unexpectedly, it leaves me feeling horrible physically. Muscles hurt, disoriented, and my teeth hurt. That last one is a strange one, but yes, if I get jolted out of sleep, my teeth hurt.
That started my day - day was pretty good, but spent the whole day feeling like I was playing catch up.
Good news was that it was weigh in, and I was down 3.8, which meant that I hit my first 10% (10% of original weight lost). That was a nice milestone.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Long absence
Sorry...fell out of the habit of the cards, and so fell out of habit with the blog. I will draw a card tomorrow morning.
Well, actually, that will be this morning.
It is currently 3:25 am, and as I am not sleep-blogging, I am obviously awake.
2 conclusions ...1) I have just got to accept the fact that I cannot drink diet coke before bedtime and 2) I guess I can't watch Law and Order SVU before bed either.
I was watching SVU until 1, then went to bed. I know it took me some time before I fell asleep, but I did fall asleep. Then Andy got up 2 to go to the bathroom (sorry, babe, I guess there is no such thing as privacy on this blog!) and that woke me up. But I guess I was in a hazy half sleep, and it freaked me out a little. Tried to go back to sleep, but Cleo came along. Still having problems with Cleo - isn't responding to the increased meds, and it looks like surgery will be the next option.
She finally settled on top of my head. After a while, I got really uncomfortable, but I didn't want to disturb her. Especially since I thought that maybe the heat from my head against her stomach might be providing her with some relief/comfort. I lasted until 2:40, then I had to move.
Too agitated/wound up to sleep now.
Benefit to not working is that with a sleepless night, I can make up for it tomorrow. Disadvantage to not working is that if I sleep during the day, I can't sleep at night, leading to more nights like this.
I do not feel divine in the least.
Well, actually, that will be this morning.
It is currently 3:25 am, and as I am not sleep-blogging, I am obviously awake.
2 conclusions ...1) I have just got to accept the fact that I cannot drink diet coke before bedtime and 2) I guess I can't watch Law and Order SVU before bed either.
I was watching SVU until 1, then went to bed. I know it took me some time before I fell asleep, but I did fall asleep. Then Andy got up 2 to go to the bathroom (sorry, babe, I guess there is no such thing as privacy on this blog!) and that woke me up. But I guess I was in a hazy half sleep, and it freaked me out a little. Tried to go back to sleep, but Cleo came along. Still having problems with Cleo - isn't responding to the increased meds, and it looks like surgery will be the next option.
She finally settled on top of my head. After a while, I got really uncomfortable, but I didn't want to disturb her. Especially since I thought that maybe the heat from my head against her stomach might be providing her with some relief/comfort. I lasted until 2:40, then I had to move.
Too agitated/wound up to sleep now.
Benefit to not working is that with a sleepless night, I can make up for it tomorrow. Disadvantage to not working is that if I sleep during the day, I can't sleep at night, leading to more nights like this.
I do not feel divine in the least.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Balancing Act
Yesterday I was divine balance.
Like many, I have difficulty getting balance in my life. But unlike many, my balance is heavily in favour of me, which while some people might be saying "I wish", like anything else can be too much of a good thing.
I am not good with self-discipline. If the choice is housework or reading, watching tv, doing anything else that I want to do, 9 times out of 10 the fun stuff wins out. But the not fun stuff does have to get done, eventually. I need to work on balancing that out.
But yesterday, I had a really good balance. I volunteered at the Relay for Life in Ancaster. My one sister, my dad, 2 of my aunts and I volunteered in the food tent. My mom got to sit at a table and be waited on, a priviledge her group has earned based on the amount of money they have raised. The day was a fantastic balance. Giving to the community, and to a worthy cause, but getting to spend social time with my family. My other sister, her husband and kids came by later, as did one of my cousins and her family. A mini family reunion in the middle of the Ancaster fairgrounds.
At the Relay for Life, they raise money by selling luminairies ( a candle in a while paper bag). You buy a paper bag, and can decorate it and write on it, to support a current victim or survivor of cancer, or to celebrate the life of and remember one who has be taken by this disease. How is that for balance? Supporting the cause, getting to flex creative muscles, and a good mixture of celebrating the good that exisits now, and reflecting on those lost.
We even had a good balance in the luminaries we bought.
We remember the courageous fights of Ali, Alma, and Terry, and mourn their passing.
We remember the courageous fights of Glenys and Kathy, and celebrate their life.
Like many, I have difficulty getting balance in my life. But unlike many, my balance is heavily in favour of me, which while some people might be saying "I wish", like anything else can be too much of a good thing.
I am not good with self-discipline. If the choice is housework or reading, watching tv, doing anything else that I want to do, 9 times out of 10 the fun stuff wins out. But the not fun stuff does have to get done, eventually. I need to work on balancing that out.
But yesterday, I had a really good balance. I volunteered at the Relay for Life in Ancaster. My one sister, my dad, 2 of my aunts and I volunteered in the food tent. My mom got to sit at a table and be waited on, a priviledge her group has earned based on the amount of money they have raised. The day was a fantastic balance. Giving to the community, and to a worthy cause, but getting to spend social time with my family. My other sister, her husband and kids came by later, as did one of my cousins and her family. A mini family reunion in the middle of the Ancaster fairgrounds.
At the Relay for Life, they raise money by selling luminairies ( a candle in a while paper bag). You buy a paper bag, and can decorate it and write on it, to support a current victim or survivor of cancer, or to celebrate the life of and remember one who has be taken by this disease. How is that for balance? Supporting the cause, getting to flex creative muscles, and a good mixture of celebrating the good that exisits now, and reflecting on those lost.
We even had a good balance in the luminaries we bought.
We remember the courageous fights of Ali, Alma, and Terry, and mourn their passing.
We remember the courageous fights of Glenys and Kathy, and celebrate their life.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
That's what I'm talking about
Today I was divine communication. Boy did I communicate.
Many the time I see someone on Monday, and they say "so, what did you do this weekend", to which I reply "I talked to my sisters".
I talk to my sisters pretty much every weekend (I have 2 sisters). With M, sometimes our calls are a little shorter - she has my niece (19 months) and my nephew (6 weeks). By shorter, I mean about an hour - she is the queen of multitasking. Usually the calls are between 2-4 hours. Almost every weekend. And we all live in Southern Ontario. And we see each other about once a month at my parents. Bell loves us.
What do we talk about? We laugh about this, because we ask the same question. And the answer is - pretty much the same things every week. How can we have the same conversations every week, for hours on end? I don't know. I don't think any of us do.
I'm not sure where we get this from. My mom doesn't have any siblings, so we aren't copying her. My dad is NOT a phone person. Didn't learn it from him either.
I called my sister B yesterday to wish her a nice Wednesday night off (she plays in a orchestra during the year, but it has ended for the summer). I think that simple wish ended up being a 2 hour conversation. Today I saw something on Oprah that I thought she would be interested in, so that simple "hey you should look this up" only lasted 1 1/2 hours. We didn't need to spend too long on the phone since we are going to see each other tomorrow for most of the day.
I don't think, when I was younger, I could have ever imagined that my sisters and I would be so close. I don't think that my parents could have imagined the 3 girls fighting and hollering would grow up to do so either.
My sisters and I all have lots of "friends", but very few FRIENDS. Lots of acquaintances, but not many really close friends. I think though that we fill that role for each other. At least they do for me, and for that I am grateful.
I called my dad tonight to confirm details for tomorrow. It's the Relay for Life walk for cancer in Ancaster, and we are going to support my mom, a survivor.
I talked to Dad for about an hour. Hey Dad? I think that's the longest we've ever talked on the phone without one of us having to go to the bathroom :)
Many the time I see someone on Monday, and they say "so, what did you do this weekend", to which I reply "I talked to my sisters".
I talk to my sisters pretty much every weekend (I have 2 sisters). With M, sometimes our calls are a little shorter - she has my niece (19 months) and my nephew (6 weeks). By shorter, I mean about an hour - she is the queen of multitasking. Usually the calls are between 2-4 hours. Almost every weekend. And we all live in Southern Ontario. And we see each other about once a month at my parents. Bell loves us.
What do we talk about? We laugh about this, because we ask the same question. And the answer is - pretty much the same things every week. How can we have the same conversations every week, for hours on end? I don't know. I don't think any of us do.
I'm not sure where we get this from. My mom doesn't have any siblings, so we aren't copying her. My dad is NOT a phone person. Didn't learn it from him either.
I called my sister B yesterday to wish her a nice Wednesday night off (she plays in a orchestra during the year, but it has ended for the summer). I think that simple wish ended up being a 2 hour conversation. Today I saw something on Oprah that I thought she would be interested in, so that simple "hey you should look this up" only lasted 1 1/2 hours. We didn't need to spend too long on the phone since we are going to see each other tomorrow for most of the day.
I don't think, when I was younger, I could have ever imagined that my sisters and I would be so close. I don't think that my parents could have imagined the 3 girls fighting and hollering would grow up to do so either.
My sisters and I all have lots of "friends", but very few FRIENDS. Lots of acquaintances, but not many really close friends. I think though that we fill that role for each other. At least they do for me, and for that I am grateful.
I called my dad tonight to confirm details for tomorrow. It's the Relay for Life walk for cancer in Ancaster, and we are going to support my mom, a survivor.
I talked to Dad for about an hour. Hey Dad? I think that's the longest we've ever talked on the phone without one of us having to go to the bathroom :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Hellooooo out there
I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, just of the divine wagon.
Got into a bit of a funk, and hubby went out of town on business (that always throws off my schedule, I can't sleep at night, then tired during the day), and then one of our cats got sick. I've been to the vet 4 times in the last week. Well, I haven't been to the vet, Cleo has been to the vet. I've taken her. I go to a people doctor. Sometimes. Don't go to the doctor often. That's a different story. Had the fun of monitoring the litter box all week. We have 2 cats. That's a lot of litter box usage, and I'm going through it like a kid looking for buried treasure in a sandbox. Except this buried treasure is not worth anything and smells overwhelming like ammonia. When I'm not doing that, I am trying to figure out ways to get pills down Cleo's throat. She's very picky, and doesn't eat human food, so that elimiates hiding it in butter or cheese or other foods that we have used in the past for various pets. She has never been much for cat treats, buy we did discover that she loves "Greenies". We found out that Greenies make a pill pocket, so for the first 2 days, she ate the pill laced treats no problem. Then she caught on. So then I rolled the treats in catnip (they are moist, so that worked well), but she figured that out in half a day. Nothing better for an ailing and stressed out cat than wrestling with their owner, who is trying to force their jaws open and throw pills down their gullet!
Vet advised me today that I can put the pill in the syringe (for the liquid meds she is on) with some water, leave it for 1/2 an hour, and then just shoot the water down her throat. Or they can order the liquid form of the medicine (chicken, beef or fish flavoured) for us. Wow. I would have loved either of these little gems last week when all this started!
Got into a bit of a funk, and hubby went out of town on business (that always throws off my schedule, I can't sleep at night, then tired during the day), and then one of our cats got sick. I've been to the vet 4 times in the last week. Well, I haven't been to the vet, Cleo has been to the vet. I've taken her. I go to a people doctor. Sometimes. Don't go to the doctor often. That's a different story. Had the fun of monitoring the litter box all week. We have 2 cats. That's a lot of litter box usage, and I'm going through it like a kid looking for buried treasure in a sandbox. Except this buried treasure is not worth anything and smells overwhelming like ammonia. When I'm not doing that, I am trying to figure out ways to get pills down Cleo's throat. She's very picky, and doesn't eat human food, so that elimiates hiding it in butter or cheese or other foods that we have used in the past for various pets. She has never been much for cat treats, buy we did discover that she loves "Greenies". We found out that Greenies make a pill pocket, so for the first 2 days, she ate the pill laced treats no problem. Then she caught on. So then I rolled the treats in catnip (they are moist, so that worked well), but she figured that out in half a day. Nothing better for an ailing and stressed out cat than wrestling with their owner, who is trying to force their jaws open and throw pills down their gullet!
Vet advised me today that I can put the pill in the syringe (for the liquid meds she is on) with some water, leave it for 1/2 an hour, and then just shoot the water down her throat. Or they can order the liquid form of the medicine (chicken, beef or fish flavoured) for us. Wow. I would have loved either of these little gems last week when all this started!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Too much focus
Today I am divine focus.
In some respects, it was a big help. It was a trainer day today. I realized some time ago, that pretty much every exercise he announced was met with (sometimes mental, sometimes quite verbal) "uugghhhhh, not this!" I eventually realized how negative that was, and also the fact that if we eliminated all the "not this"'s, it wouldn't leave a whole heck of a lot. Not the reason I joined the gym and signed on with a trainer. So I shifted my thinking to try to be more positive, even if sometimes it is still "the faster I do this, the faster it's done".
When I drew divine focus this morning, the first thing was to use focus at the gym. Doing my warm up, I used the machines that I usually try to stay away from. The deal I made with myself was at least 5 mintues. Some of them I hopped off as soon as the 5 minutes was up, others I was able to push a little further. But my focus was on what I was doing. I was trying to actually feel every muscle, every joint, every movement. When I worked with my trainer, my focus was on giving everything I had. Sometimes I can't give everything 100% energy 100% of the time, but I still push through (like dropping the arms, but continuing the jog...). Today I really focused on not breaking away for longer than necessary. I was pretty impressed with what I was able to push through.
On the cat front, Miss Cleo has come home - we have to give her pills and drops, and monitor her, but things seem good right now. Fingers crossed
.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Irony
Today, I am divine awareness.
Today, I drove right past my own street on my way home.
We had to take our cat to the vet for an emergency visit this morning, and leave her there all day. Driving home from the vet, I totally missed my street, and was some distance past it before I realized the error. Too be fair, I was one major street south of where I normally drive, and so the cues that I use were a little skewed. I'm used to school, shopping plaza, my turn.
There was the school, then my turn, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying attention to my driving. I can tell you where the construction site was, the car that passed me in the school zone, and the fact that the lights were flasing in the school zone. I wasn't completely out of the loop.
I was hyper aware today...every meow out other cat uttered sent me through the roof. We had a dog a few years ago that died very suddenly, so pet health scares like this bring back lots of bad memories.
Everything seems to be okay, she's staying overnight for observation. I wish divine awareness on the staff who are keeping an eye on our Cleocatra overnight.
Today, I drove right past my own street on my way home.
We had to take our cat to the vet for an emergency visit this morning, and leave her there all day. Driving home from the vet, I totally missed my street, and was some distance past it before I realized the error. Too be fair, I was one major street south of where I normally drive, and so the cues that I use were a little skewed. I'm used to school, shopping plaza, my turn.
There was the school, then my turn, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying attention to my driving. I can tell you where the construction site was, the car that passed me in the school zone, and the fact that the lights were flasing in the school zone. I wasn't completely out of the loop.
I was hyper aware today...every meow out other cat uttered sent me through the roof. We had a dog a few years ago that died very suddenly, so pet health scares like this bring back lots of bad memories.
Everything seems to be okay, she's staying overnight for observation. I wish divine awareness on the staff who are keeping an eye on our Cleocatra overnight.
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