To do step b, you need to have a step a

Today I drew Divine Committment. The idea is to ask yourself if your actions support your committment.
The flaw in this process is that first you have to commit to something!
This made me think of other things in my life. I have never been very good at goal setting. I have no tolerance for delayed gratification. I don't like waiting for things. I like planning for things, but once the planning is done - that's it - I want action. Even if I get an advent calendar (yes, I am late 30's , and I still get myself an advent calendar sometims, wanna make something of it?) I actually consider it a huge personal triumph if I manage to eat all the chocolates on the appointed day, and not all at once, or borrowing ahead by a few days. I put off, with too much ease things that I don't want to do, and am all to eager to do what I want to now.
So, homework (which I never did when I was in school, hope it can change now) is to figure out what I want to commit too...then I will be ready for Divine Committment the next time it comes around.

Divine Grace

I pulled out my deck this morning...been some time since I had done that. I have been feeling quite isolated and disconnected lately...part of it I know is because Andy has been travelling again, which always puts me out of sorts. Also, our Cleo-shmeo (we have a huge array of nicknames for our cats) is having intesitnal problems like she had last year...while we know better what to look for, and perhaps how to fix it ourselves (so far, so good, I must say) there is just the added stress of being the only one home to deal with it - the medicating, the monitoring, and the breath holding dread when I can't find her in any of her usual haunts.
I was looking forward to but sort of dreading today. We were invited to a birthday party for one of Andy's childhood friends - I was looking forward to having a social outing, but a little worried about going and only knowing a few people...I am kind of shy, and have a difficult time in social situations The card I drew was Divine Grace...a sense of calm just floated through me. For me, Divine Grace is almost like a secret that you carry within you - it makes you smile to yourself.
We did have a good time - lovely that it was a pool party, with this heat. The card I made was well received, which was nice too.

Working on my weaknesses

Today I drew "Divine Will". That was a good one for me to concentrate on today, as I faced day 2 on the job. Well, "faced" is maybe the wrong word...it has a negative connotation, and I am enjoying my job.
One weakness I have is not listening, or interrupting. But not trying to interrupt in a rude way, just trying to provide words when they are pausing. But that involves me providing them with the word I think they want, which might not even be the case. I am trying really hard to just listen.
I am also trying to not make judgements...it's hard, I think it's something we all do. We base entire relationships, or the tone of relationships at least based on 1st impressions. I'm trying to just take all reactions, looks, comments but not make judgement. If that makes sense.

I think this has been a good card to help me focus on the fresh start that I want at this company.

Fresh start

I started my new job this morning. I had enough time to draw a card this morning, and I drew divine gratitude.

I am grateful for having a new job, for a new start, new people, no negativity....
I am grateful for chances to express my creativity (did several challenges for National Scrapbook Day...this is not related for the job).
I am grateful for beautiful summer like days.
I am grateful for hour long lunches that will allow for walks during this beautiful weather!!

Divine Gratitude

I am grateful for:
1) Spring finally being here
2) Smell for freshly cut grass
3) We have a condo, so I didn't have to cut the grass myself
4) First birthdays (shout out to Nay-nay)
5) Hubby is home, even if it is for just one night

The plan comes together....

Today was divine consciousness. That has been playing a large role in my life lately, as I have been doing a job search. I've applied for a handful of jobs, and have had 3 interviews. The first job, I was excited about. The second, well, it would have been a paycheque, and the third...well, at the interview I said I would be interested in coming in to volunteer if I didn't get hired. The job was just what I wanted, the the company is one that I believe in, the company culture is amazing. Ohhh I wanted that job. And I got it. It pays a little less than what I was hoping for, but it seems like a small price to pay in light of everything else.
Job searching can be so frustrating and disheartening. Especially when you are trying to break out of a mold. Trying to get someone to give you that chance. to see between the lines on your resume. I was so unhappy with my last job, really feeling that I wasn't contributing to anything, on any level. I didn't want to do that again.
My sister has always said that I have a horseshoe...ah, somewhere in my anatomy. Things, especially jobs, just seem to come to me. While I have been looking for jobs, I do admit that I don't think I sent out more than 20 or so resumes. I only started looking in earnest in January. So 5 months of looking, with only a handful of resumes...that's not bad. I know people who send out hundreds of resumes over weeks, and don't get anywhere.
If I had gotten that job in February (job #1), I wouldn't have had this opportunity.

I have tried to keep in mind that things happen the way they are supposed to, and that is part of divine consciousness.

Divine Focus

Yesterday I forgot to draw a card...I'm trying to make it a daily habit.

Today I was divine focus. I sort of forgot, but I think that it was there subconsciously. I got a few things off my "to do" list, which was good. I like crossing things off my list. I often make a list just for the satisfaction of being able to cross things off. I don't think that keeping a list on the computer would be as satisfying. It would be easier, especially for moving things around, or keeping things on there that haven't been done, but there is a certain sense of empowerment that comes from that bold line, and that scratch noise as you drag your pen across the item.

I have been decidedly unfocused in my weight loss efforts as of late - just can't seem to find the motivation. However, divine focus was sent into the universe and brought me what I needed. A few weeks ago I met a woman at my Weight Watcher's meeting, and we struck up a conversation. I love it when other people seem to think that I have it all together. Anyway, we struck up a buddy system. I am not good at keeping in touch with people. I actually hate the telephone, and outside of my parents/sisters, do not very often pick up a phone and call people. So I called D. two weeks ago. That took a lot of committment on my part. Tonight she called me. It seems she has also been struggling. We've made a pact on how we are going to refocus our efforts over the next week. It's nice to not feel alone in this respect.

The Universe called me out...

You know those times when you didn't do you homework (no? that was just me?) and then the teacher would just out of the blue give an extension (at which point, I usually still didn't do it...)? Well that kinda happened today. While not fully being divinely celebratory yesterday, I some how managed to draw the same card today! Not sure how that worked. And those of you who might be familiar with my being stalked by "divine witness", I have changed the way I draw cards...now I just shuffle and cut the deck - easier than fanning the cards. Today I celebrated my creativity. I know I gave a link to my other blog (www.sarahprocrastinating.blogspot.com) where I have been posting the cards and projects that I've been making. I bought a Cricut in Jan/Feb, and promised myself/Andy at that point that I would never buy another card again, and Ihave kept true to that promise. Valentines, birthdays, sympathy, thank you, bridal shower, wedding, new baby (those last 3 didn't all go to the same person) Easter and Passover. These are the cards I have tackled so far. This have been a very heavy card time for me, and it's not done yet. Today I managed to get 3 cards done. I think I will get faster as time goes on, but I am still playing with things, so it takes me a while. They were awesome cards, if I do say so myself. I am really able to see where I started, and how I am improving. I like having a creative outlet, and a reason to create.

Divine Celebration

Sorry for the late post. I did draw a card yesterday, but didn't get to blogging.
Yesterday was divine celebration, and I confess that I did not find much to celebrate. Just wasn't focused

I am so ready to celebrate SPRING. Where is it already? Granted it didn't stick on the ground, but there was too much snow yesterday for my liking! All the poor robins just look flabbergasted!

Divine will

Divine will is difficult for me, because it means giving up, or trying to give up, control. Divine will is to let go of your own agenda, and follow the path that is set out for you, whether you know it or not. I don't like not knowing. I like having a plan. I like putting together a sequence of events, and having them follow through. So to follow divine will means...wait that can't even work. You can't follow divine will, you have to allow divine will to lead you. To follow would mean making the choice, to be led means giving up control.
So far I haven't been led anywhere specifically. But tonight I have my first meeting with a scrapbooking/card making group that I found. I wonder where the night will lead.

Did you miss me?

I am so out of practice. But I guess the universe knew that. Today I was divine mystery. I have located my cards (not under the bed, as I thought, there lie mysteries for another day, but just under a pile of books and papers on my bedside table). Divine Mystery seems to be one of the "freebie" cards - allowing yourself to just be open, and go the way the wind blows, rather than focusing on a specific quality. I think it was easier to keep "Divine Mystery" at the forefront of my mind, rather than something more concrete (the abstract concrete, does that exist? That sounds like a philosophy book "The Abstract Sidewalk"). It was a good way to ease back into something that should really be a daily practice. Freakishly enough, it was exactly one year ago today that I went to my first soul coaching session with Kimberly Carroll, which started this whole ball rolling...I didn't even think about that til now, and just went to check my e-mails (I don't delete anything other than junk mail), and confirmed that yes indeed, it was April 14, 2010. Other odd coincidence...when I drew today's card, I half wondered if it was going to be my old friend "divine witness", and if Iwas going to have to start all over again with that card. As Iput my cards back in the box, I found that there was one card stuck in the box still, I flipped it over, it was divine witness :) Other mysteries today...where to "Temp" documents go when you save them???? I have an interview on Tuesday, and the company sent me several evaluations to fill out. I did so, and saved them, and then couldn't find them to save my life when I went to attach them to my reply e-mail. After much searching, restrained desires to hurl the computer across the room, and a string of words that I'm sure my parents don't know that I know, I had to start over again. All I can think is that maybe I did a little better the 2nd time around. Maybe that was something to be open to today.

The case of the disappearing blog entry

I was so sure that I had hit "publish post" after my little update. I have not been living divinely...my cards have divinely disappeared (I think they might be under the bed in that one spot that I just cannot reach, but I cannot see, and I haven't figured out how to get under there yet...) Barbara has actually developed an iPhone app, and I should just download that instead in the meantime. But in my absence from this blog, I have indeed been keeping myself occupied, and have been tracking my creative efforts at www.sarahprocrastinating.blogspot.com if you want to see what's been going on :)

long time no see

I haven't forgotten this blog! I have been drawing cards, and trying to get in touch with my divine side. Honestly I feel like I slept walked (is that the proper past tense of sleep walk??) through the past week or so... I don't know where the time has gone. I can't say that I've done anything stellar, just feeling that the days have gotten away from me.
Today was divine patience. I'm learning that the name of the card isn't necessarily what you would think it is by the traditional definition of the word. On mornings when I've thought that the day would be especially trying, I've wondered if I would get divine patience, reminding me of a virtue that sometimes I possess, sometimes I don't, depending on the situation. Divine patience goes beyond taking a deep breath and counting to 10. Divine patience means waiting for, and accepting the fact that the universe has it's own timing, and doesn't need to be rushed or pushed.
This has been a good card for me. I had a job interview last week, which seemed to have gone well. I heard from the placement agency that had positive feedback, but one of the people who makes the hiring decisions has been out of town on business this week, and so there probably won't be an answer until Monday. This has been a reminder that the world unfolds at it's own pace, not mine.

Sometimes God just laughs...

Today was divine consciousness- trying to feel the connection between me and the universe. Trying to listen to what the universe had to tell me, trying to tell the universe what I needed.
While working out at the gym, I conversed with the universe about needing strength to keep going on (I'm working out with an intensity/frequency that is new to me). While waiting to go into my interview with the placement agency, the request was for clear thoughts and good communication. On the drive home, good opportunities and a good match was on tap.

Me and the universe one on one allowed for divine consciousness. Apparently, conversations with real people is too much for me (not the interview, that went well).

My sister is getting married in April. I am one of the bridesmaids.
My sister has looked at a few bridesmaid dresses, and has a clear favourite. Our difference is that her number one choice is my last choice. If she asks that we wear that one, I will, and will have a smile on my face. When my opinion was asked for, and it was given, I did say that it wasn't my favourite.
When we spoke today, we were son entrenched in our own corners that we weren't listening to, or hearing each other. It took my other sister, on different phone calls to make me see that.

I wasn't open to divine consciousness when I needed to be.

Decisions, decisions

Today was about being divine decision. I'm trying to put this into practice. I was so out of it today, I saw my cards this evening and thought "crap, I forgot to draw a card this morning". Only to really, really think about it, and finally look at the top card to say "yep, I drew that this morning". Most of my decisions were about getting up, getting dressed, cleaning out the cat litters and finally taking the garbage out for garbage day.
I think (hope?)that divine decision will play a bigger role later this week. I have an interview tomorrow with a placement service, and they have a specific position in mind. It's not customer service, which is the essentially my number one priority. I am customer serviced out. The customer service well has run dry. And if anyone out there is in customer service...isn't it frustrating when you call/go somewhere and need customer service, and it seems that the customer service you get is always of a quality that you are pretty sure you would get fired if you were the one delivering that attitude. And that further drains the well, at least in my case. I don't want to just take the first job for the sake of taking a job. And yes, I'm getting ahead of myself here, as I haven't even had an interview yet. But I am starting to go stir crazy at home, and some routine and human contact would not be unwelcome. Hopefully, the stars are aligning, and this will be a good thing. Time will tell.

Opposite day

Drew divine grace.
Not embodying divine grace.
Divine snot.
Divine hacking.
Divine Nyquil.
Divine night night.

Lazy day in Bramptontown

Kicking this cold...didn't do much today. But did have a lot of time to think....
I did draw my card this morning. Divine Committment. I think that it is a good card to draw as the end of the week draws nigh...a gentle reminder of what is going on right now, or what needs to happen. A little bit of a throw back to my flirtation with Divine Witness a few months back :)
A little bit of acceptance...I decided that as I was not on anyone's clock today I would just let this cold run its course. Just liquids and rest. No medical aides...let this just be as it is.
A little bit of focus...need to find a job, so today made strides in that field. Something has come on the radar which might be a good step forward.
A little bit of divine love...resting when I needed to, eating healthy, drinking fluids....
So today was an iceberg day...didn't look like all tha much on the surface, but lots going on hidden from view.

Love and Acceptance

Last night was divine "tuck myself into bed early to see if I can beat this cold". Fat lot of good it did me - I was up until after 2 a.m. It's not a bad cold, just an annoying cough, and kinda achy. Just irritating more than anything. I think Andy brings me these germs home from the hospitals he visits for work. Nice when your husband brings you little gifts for no reason :(

Yesterday was divine love, today divine acceptance. I'm not sure if this is how it supposed to work or not, but I find that I am applying these cards of diviness inwards. I'm looking to connect them internally, and not with the big external universe. I think I need to fix my relationship with myself before I can extend this into the world around me. I've started that process, but got distracted and let it slide. Then again, it could be that right now my interaction with others is limited and I don't have many sources to turn these outwards.
Either way - I think it works.

Focus, focus, focus

This story is just too cute not to share...I was at my sister's and her hubby was outside doing a few chores. But ever the gardener, he had wandered from the chores that needed to be done, and found something else that caught his attention. My sister shouted out the window "Focus!". Her daughter, not yet 2 was standing beside her, and needs to do everything that mommy does. "Tell Daddy to focus!", my sister tells J, J promptly yells, at the top of her tiny lungs "Fock you daddy, fock you!".
Out of the mouths of babes....
Today was divine focus. It was a nice kick in the butt for what needed to get done. Maybe it's a cop out, but today, everytime I strayed, or considered straying from needed to get done, I would remind myself that I was divine focus. It was was enough to get me through a few tough spots.
It seems silly that drawing a piece of laminated card in the morning with 4 little words on it was enough to keep me on the straight and narrow, so to speak. The fact that I needed a little piece of paper to do that...that I can't/won't/don't do it on a normal day. I needed to be told!
I am not a great self motivator, at least not for things that I would rather not do. If it is something I want to do, not a problem, I can structure, focus, plan, coordinate and execute. No problem. The stuff I don't want to do...well, I don't. At least not until the very last possible moment that it can remain undone. The number of university essays that weren't even started until mere hours before they were actually due (4 years of last minute essay writing did more for my typing skills than any amount of typing classes in high school ever did. When you only have 2 hours to get something done, your fingers can fly, and there is little time for proof reading, so the spelling had better be right).

So today was a successful day of focus. I owe it to the little voice inside me yelling "Fock you!"

New favourite

Divine Body. Revel and marvel in what your body can do, most of it without our consciously telling it to. I wish I had drawn the card before I went to the gym...might have given me something to concentrate on rather than "is this almost over??".
I came home, drew the card, and was able to fully relish thanking my body for what it does for me. I did forget to dry brush like I had intended...but there is always tomorrow. But nice hot shower, using all sorts of lotions and bath products that I got for Christmas. Lovely home pedicure. And best of all, a white chocolate body butter. It is so luxurious, and smells too good to be true. It takes a lot of self restraint to not just dig a spoon in there.
After a bit of down time, I used the Wii. I am trying to do 1/2 hour on the Wii (in addition to any other activity). Some balance excercises, a little more cardio (it baffles me how my arms can hurt so much after boxing with an imaginary opponent) I finally figured out how to put a few of the yoga routines together so they created a seamless program. I do like yoga...I did one of the classes at the gym a while ago, and just felt too self conscious at my lack of ability. I enjoyed being able to do it at home. Stretching out, a way of giving thanks to this body of mine.
So I apologize to you, dear body, for the abuse that I put you through. I will try to treat you with more respect. Thank you for all you do.

Though if your body is a temple, I feel like a cold is seeking sanctuary. Can a temple serve an eviction notice??

Not connected

Today was supposed to be divine connection. I didn't feel any connection, divine or otherwise. Acutally spent some time trying to break connection. Did some decluttering today. Random thankful thought of the day, I am thankful for "no limit" garbage bad days. We are certainly taking advantage of that.
I cleaned out under the bed....ewww. I think there were about 15 plastic bottles, not to mention lots of other junk. I like to keep water near the bed, and to avoid spillage, I keep plastic bottles. I know they are not ideal, but I reuse them, and recycle them...better than nothing. Problem is they do fall, and get misplaced, so I get another bottle. So I now know that missing bottles are not likely due to Andy spontaneously gathering up garbage. The bottle has now been replaced by a nice stainless steel water bottle I pulled out of the closet. So new goal is to keep this bottle in place, and not to bring another plastic bottle up in the bedroom.
I like New year's goals, I don't do resolutions. I don't feel weird about adding goals as the spirit moves me, resolutions need to be set on New Year's. The water bottle was whim from today.
So maybe the connection today was with Mother Earth herself...a goal to reduce the water bottles (even if they were being recycled). Maybe not everything has to be a bolt of lightening consciousness altering revelation. It's good to not lose sight of the little things.

Happy New Year

I guess it is no surprise that I would be blogging on January 1. New year, renewed energy ( I hope), renewed habits. I don't know why we wait for perscribed dates to retstart our efforts, Mondays, the first of the month, our birthdays. I guesss it helps when there is a definite start date.
At the suggestion of the creator of the "I Am Divine" cards (Barbara Burke, www.luminouscreations.ca) , I drew one card that will be the card for the year. I got divine serenity.
In the guide book for the cards, Barbara quotes the serenity prayer as part of the reflection. I think the part that speaks the most to me, or I think is the part I need to hold on to the most is "to accept the things I cannot change".
What is the sense in stewing over something that you cannot control? I can get myself tied up in knots over things that I cannot change or control. I have imaginary conversations with people, coming up with clever comebacks or more intelligent responses to things said earlier the day, week, month, year, decade, lifetime. I fume over other people's actions.
Bottom line is that there is only one person I can control, and that is me. I hereby dedicate this year to developing divine serenity.