Harder than I thought

Yesterday was divine awareness. I drew the card, meditated on it for a while, and that was pretty much the end of it. There was a time that I was able to keep the day's message at the back of my head, and see how it had a hand in my day. That seems to be taking some practice to bring back.
I seem to be emerging from my funk. I was in a place where I had next to no motivation. I feel energy starting to come back.
I bought a dry rub scrub brush (is that what it's called?). It pains me to write that, because I broke a cardinal rule in doing so. You don't buy anything for yourself before Christmas or your birthday. It invariably infringes on a gift that someone has already gotten you. So while I can hear the shouts of dismay from family...if any of you had bought this for me for Christmas, I will go out and buy a hat for the sole purpose of eating it. And don't go out and buy one just so you can say you had already done it.
Anyway, I used the brush yesterday, and did feel quite invigorated afterwards, though a little scared by the dead skin. But there is something in knowing I was sloughing that off...new beginnings, new life. Get rid of what you don't need.

The day started well....

I woke up and felt like I had all my ducks in a row. I woke up at a decent hour (a little bit of a sleep in, but early enough to still get things done). Things felt like they were falling into place. I felt motivated enough to draw an "I am Divine" card. I drew divine Unity.
No offence Barbara, but I am thinking that I will create a set of cards I am Undivine. Today I apparently drew divine Snippiness. I just couldn't stop snipping at Andy. I tried to remove myself to get some space, but it didn't help much. I think it is taking a while to get used to us being together again. Since the end of September, he has been travelling for business almost every week.
So before the day started to go downhill....I thought about unity, and feeling connected. Yesterday Andy and I went to visit his aunt and uncle. There was a bit of a heated debate. Andy spoke about wanting to trace family history, and visiting the country his family originated from. Andy's uncle (his dad's brother) does not have good memories - bad family situation and the fact they were Jews living in Eastern Europe during the 2nd world war. Andy and I share a passion for researching our family trees. To us it is a sense of feeling connected. It took some back and forth, but I can see how uncle L has made made peace but doesn't want to revisit the past, but I know that for Andy, a large reason for wanting to visit is just to take a deep breath and think "I am breathing the same air that my family once breathed". I mean obviously not the exact same air, but you know what I mean.

But I digress. I tried. It didn't go well. Tomorrow is another day.