Last week we attended the funeral for a woman at my church. She died at the age of 99. On the front of the program was written "Today well lived makes/Yesterday a Dream of Happiness/And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope".
This, and other events have made me start thinking about how I live my life. I don't live my life today, I live it yesterday or tomorrow, but not today.
My thoughts are very often filled with "I wish I had...., I wish I hadn't..., I can't believe I did...., if only I had....why did I...."
I think about stupid things I said or did when I was 8. I'll bet for the most part the other people there don't even remember. Until someone perfects the time machine, there isn't a whole lot that I can do about it. So why do I let it upset/embarrass/frustrate me now?
When I am not stressing about what happened eons ago, I plan my life around "tomorrow". Tomorrow I will start....as soon as this happens I'll do... once this is done, I can....
This is how I make excuses. Example, I decided recently that I should be going to the gym everyday. But I knew I was going to be going away on holidays...so I had better not start going to the gym everyday now, because I don't want to blow the new pattern so soon. I can rationlize pretty much anything, as flimsy as it may sound to others.
So, how to start living in the moment, or at least in the day (start small, let me get to living within the same 24 hour period before stressing on being within the nanosecond)? I guess the first thing would be to ask myself "what can I do today". Something I will need to work on.
I'll figure it out tomorrow :)
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