Yesterday I was divine balance.
Like many, I have difficulty getting balance in my life. But unlike many, my balance is heavily in favour of me, which while some people might be saying "I wish", like anything else can be too much of a good thing.
I am not good with self-discipline. If the choice is housework or reading, watching tv, doing anything else that I want to do, 9 times out of 10 the fun stuff wins out. But the not fun stuff does have to get done, eventually. I need to work on balancing that out.
But yesterday, I had a really good balance. I volunteered at the Relay for Life in Ancaster. My one sister, my dad, 2 of my aunts and I volunteered in the food tent. My mom got to sit at a table and be waited on, a priviledge her group has earned based on the amount of money they have raised. The day was a fantastic balance. Giving to the community, and to a worthy cause, but getting to spend social time with my family. My other sister, her husband and kids came by later, as did one of my cousins and her family. A mini family reunion in the middle of the Ancaster fairgrounds.
At the Relay for Life, they raise money by selling luminairies ( a candle in a while paper bag). You buy a paper bag, and can decorate it and write on it, to support a current victim or survivor of cancer, or to celebrate the life of and remember one who has be taken by this disease. How is that for balance? Supporting the cause, getting to flex creative muscles, and a good mixture of celebrating the good that exisits now, and reflecting on those lost.
We even had a good balance in the luminaries we bought.
We remember the courageous fights of Ali, Alma, and Terry, and mourn their passing.
We remember the courageous fights of Glenys and Kathy, and celebrate their life.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
That's what I'm talking about
Today I was divine communication. Boy did I communicate.
Many the time I see someone on Monday, and they say "so, what did you do this weekend", to which I reply "I talked to my sisters".
I talk to my sisters pretty much every weekend (I have 2 sisters). With M, sometimes our calls are a little shorter - she has my niece (19 months) and my nephew (6 weeks). By shorter, I mean about an hour - she is the queen of multitasking. Usually the calls are between 2-4 hours. Almost every weekend. And we all live in Southern Ontario. And we see each other about once a month at my parents. Bell loves us.
What do we talk about? We laugh about this, because we ask the same question. And the answer is - pretty much the same things every week. How can we have the same conversations every week, for hours on end? I don't know. I don't think any of us do.
I'm not sure where we get this from. My mom doesn't have any siblings, so we aren't copying her. My dad is NOT a phone person. Didn't learn it from him either.
I called my sister B yesterday to wish her a nice Wednesday night off (she plays in a orchestra during the year, but it has ended for the summer). I think that simple wish ended up being a 2 hour conversation. Today I saw something on Oprah that I thought she would be interested in, so that simple "hey you should look this up" only lasted 1 1/2 hours. We didn't need to spend too long on the phone since we are going to see each other tomorrow for most of the day.
I don't think, when I was younger, I could have ever imagined that my sisters and I would be so close. I don't think that my parents could have imagined the 3 girls fighting and hollering would grow up to do so either.
My sisters and I all have lots of "friends", but very few FRIENDS. Lots of acquaintances, but not many really close friends. I think though that we fill that role for each other. At least they do for me, and for that I am grateful.
I called my dad tonight to confirm details for tomorrow. It's the Relay for Life walk for cancer in Ancaster, and we are going to support my mom, a survivor.
I talked to Dad for about an hour. Hey Dad? I think that's the longest we've ever talked on the phone without one of us having to go to the bathroom :)
Many the time I see someone on Monday, and they say "so, what did you do this weekend", to which I reply "I talked to my sisters".
I talk to my sisters pretty much every weekend (I have 2 sisters). With M, sometimes our calls are a little shorter - she has my niece (19 months) and my nephew (6 weeks). By shorter, I mean about an hour - she is the queen of multitasking. Usually the calls are between 2-4 hours. Almost every weekend. And we all live in Southern Ontario. And we see each other about once a month at my parents. Bell loves us.
What do we talk about? We laugh about this, because we ask the same question. And the answer is - pretty much the same things every week. How can we have the same conversations every week, for hours on end? I don't know. I don't think any of us do.
I'm not sure where we get this from. My mom doesn't have any siblings, so we aren't copying her. My dad is NOT a phone person. Didn't learn it from him either.
I called my sister B yesterday to wish her a nice Wednesday night off (she plays in a orchestra during the year, but it has ended for the summer). I think that simple wish ended up being a 2 hour conversation. Today I saw something on Oprah that I thought she would be interested in, so that simple "hey you should look this up" only lasted 1 1/2 hours. We didn't need to spend too long on the phone since we are going to see each other tomorrow for most of the day.
I don't think, when I was younger, I could have ever imagined that my sisters and I would be so close. I don't think that my parents could have imagined the 3 girls fighting and hollering would grow up to do so either.
My sisters and I all have lots of "friends", but very few FRIENDS. Lots of acquaintances, but not many really close friends. I think though that we fill that role for each other. At least they do for me, and for that I am grateful.
I called my dad tonight to confirm details for tomorrow. It's the Relay for Life walk for cancer in Ancaster, and we are going to support my mom, a survivor.
I talked to Dad for about an hour. Hey Dad? I think that's the longest we've ever talked on the phone without one of us having to go to the bathroom :)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Hellooooo out there
I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, just of the divine wagon.
Got into a bit of a funk, and hubby went out of town on business (that always throws off my schedule, I can't sleep at night, then tired during the day), and then one of our cats got sick. I've been to the vet 4 times in the last week. Well, I haven't been to the vet, Cleo has been to the vet. I've taken her. I go to a people doctor. Sometimes. Don't go to the doctor often. That's a different story. Had the fun of monitoring the litter box all week. We have 2 cats. That's a lot of litter box usage, and I'm going through it like a kid looking for buried treasure in a sandbox. Except this buried treasure is not worth anything and smells overwhelming like ammonia. When I'm not doing that, I am trying to figure out ways to get pills down Cleo's throat. She's very picky, and doesn't eat human food, so that elimiates hiding it in butter or cheese or other foods that we have used in the past for various pets. She has never been much for cat treats, buy we did discover that she loves "Greenies". We found out that Greenies make a pill pocket, so for the first 2 days, she ate the pill laced treats no problem. Then she caught on. So then I rolled the treats in catnip (they are moist, so that worked well), but she figured that out in half a day. Nothing better for an ailing and stressed out cat than wrestling with their owner, who is trying to force their jaws open and throw pills down their gullet!
Vet advised me today that I can put the pill in the syringe (for the liquid meds she is on) with some water, leave it for 1/2 an hour, and then just shoot the water down her throat. Or they can order the liquid form of the medicine (chicken, beef or fish flavoured) for us. Wow. I would have loved either of these little gems last week when all this started!
Got into a bit of a funk, and hubby went out of town on business (that always throws off my schedule, I can't sleep at night, then tired during the day), and then one of our cats got sick. I've been to the vet 4 times in the last week. Well, I haven't been to the vet, Cleo has been to the vet. I've taken her. I go to a people doctor. Sometimes. Don't go to the doctor often. That's a different story. Had the fun of monitoring the litter box all week. We have 2 cats. That's a lot of litter box usage, and I'm going through it like a kid looking for buried treasure in a sandbox. Except this buried treasure is not worth anything and smells overwhelming like ammonia. When I'm not doing that, I am trying to figure out ways to get pills down Cleo's throat. She's very picky, and doesn't eat human food, so that elimiates hiding it in butter or cheese or other foods that we have used in the past for various pets. She has never been much for cat treats, buy we did discover that she loves "Greenies". We found out that Greenies make a pill pocket, so for the first 2 days, she ate the pill laced treats no problem. Then she caught on. So then I rolled the treats in catnip (they are moist, so that worked well), but she figured that out in half a day. Nothing better for an ailing and stressed out cat than wrestling with their owner, who is trying to force their jaws open and throw pills down their gullet!
Vet advised me today that I can put the pill in the syringe (for the liquid meds she is on) with some water, leave it for 1/2 an hour, and then just shoot the water down her throat. Or they can order the liquid form of the medicine (chicken, beef or fish flavoured) for us. Wow. I would have loved either of these little gems last week when all this started!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Too much focus
Today I am divine focus.
In some respects, it was a big help. It was a trainer day today. I realized some time ago, that pretty much every exercise he announced was met with (sometimes mental, sometimes quite verbal) "uugghhhhh, not this!" I eventually realized how negative that was, and also the fact that if we eliminated all the "not this"'s, it wouldn't leave a whole heck of a lot. Not the reason I joined the gym and signed on with a trainer. So I shifted my thinking to try to be more positive, even if sometimes it is still "the faster I do this, the faster it's done".
When I drew divine focus this morning, the first thing was to use focus at the gym. Doing my warm up, I used the machines that I usually try to stay away from. The deal I made with myself was at least 5 mintues. Some of them I hopped off as soon as the 5 minutes was up, others I was able to push a little further. But my focus was on what I was doing. I was trying to actually feel every muscle, every joint, every movement. When I worked with my trainer, my focus was on giving everything I had. Sometimes I can't give everything 100% energy 100% of the time, but I still push through (like dropping the arms, but continuing the jog...). Today I really focused on not breaking away for longer than necessary. I was pretty impressed with what I was able to push through.
On the cat front, Miss Cleo has come home - we have to give her pills and drops, and monitor her, but things seem good right now. Fingers crossed
.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Irony
Today, I am divine awareness.
Today, I drove right past my own street on my way home.
We had to take our cat to the vet for an emergency visit this morning, and leave her there all day. Driving home from the vet, I totally missed my street, and was some distance past it before I realized the error. Too be fair, I was one major street south of where I normally drive, and so the cues that I use were a little skewed. I'm used to school, shopping plaza, my turn.
There was the school, then my turn, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying attention to my driving. I can tell you where the construction site was, the car that passed me in the school zone, and the fact that the lights were flasing in the school zone. I wasn't completely out of the loop.
I was hyper aware today...every meow out other cat uttered sent me through the roof. We had a dog a few years ago that died very suddenly, so pet health scares like this bring back lots of bad memories.
Everything seems to be okay, she's staying overnight for observation. I wish divine awareness on the staff who are keeping an eye on our Cleocatra overnight.
Today, I drove right past my own street on my way home.
We had to take our cat to the vet for an emergency visit this morning, and leave her there all day. Driving home from the vet, I totally missed my street, and was some distance past it before I realized the error. Too be fair, I was one major street south of where I normally drive, and so the cues that I use were a little skewed. I'm used to school, shopping plaza, my turn.
There was the school, then my turn, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying attention to my driving. I can tell you where the construction site was, the car that passed me in the school zone, and the fact that the lights were flasing in the school zone. I wasn't completely out of the loop.
I was hyper aware today...every meow out other cat uttered sent me through the roof. We had a dog a few years ago that died very suddenly, so pet health scares like this bring back lots of bad memories.
Everything seems to be okay, she's staying overnight for observation. I wish divine awareness on the staff who are keeping an eye on our Cleocatra overnight.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Lessons not learned
Today, I am divine courage. Nope, you didn't accidentally read yesterday's entry again, I drew the same card again.
I think that I am not "getting" this one, so I'm having to live in the same space for a while, giving it time to set in.
Everyday, I do take something away with me, it's not like fractions in school, where once it was done, I walked away, forgetting everything, hoping I would never have to do it again. Do you know that every year I took math, I flipped through the book to see if there were fractions, and dammit there they were. I never actually got that they were not a one time deal.
So in spending a day reflecting on the specific card, I do keep in my back pocket, so to speak. I
am still trying to live as divine witness, even though I haven't drawn the card for some time.
However, I am still not getting divine courage. Maybe I'll get it again tomorrow.
I think that I am not "getting" this one, so I'm having to live in the same space for a while, giving it time to set in.
Everyday, I do take something away with me, it's not like fractions in school, where once it was done, I walked away, forgetting everything, hoping I would never have to do it again. Do you know that every year I took math, I flipped through the book to see if there were fractions, and dammit there they were. I never actually got that they were not a one time deal.
So in spending a day reflecting on the specific card, I do keep in my back pocket, so to speak. I
am still trying to live as divine witness, even though I haven't drawn the card for some time.
However, I am still not getting divine courage. Maybe I'll get it again tomorrow.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
If I only had the noive....
Please pardon the Bert Lahr impersonation in the title, it might not translate too well in written form.
Today I was divine courage, thought didn't find much cause to use it. Except the courage to walk down the aisles of junk food at the grocery, and the strength to not buy anything.
I did however watch friendships of 20+ years disintegrate in a fireball of nasty words on facebook.
I like the fact that most of the time, I can state my opinion, hear a contrary opinion, and agree to disagree. Often, I will ask some questions regarding the other opinion. Not to be contrary, but because I like to be educated, and am interested in where the opposing opinion comes from. I may change camps, or again, just be content to agree to disagree.
I like facebook. Probably spend way too much time there. But I see it as a lighthearted lark. I like to see peoples' status updates - "So and so is celebrating a birthday"..."rotten day, hear moosetrack icecream and grey's anatomy calling my name"...." wishes the rain would stop"....quick, whimsical, sometimes nonsensical glimpses into their lives.
One person I know made a statement regarding the Israeli incident last week. Another person I know replied. Someone I don't know joined the commentary. It became a 3 way conversation, with name calling and hostility growing. Another friend joined in towards the end. The end result was that the whole thread was deleted, but not until well after the damage had been done, and people were "defriended".
This is obviously a hot topic. People were asking questions that were not being answered. People were so intent on making their point, they weren't reading what the other person had actually written.
Sometimes I feel... almost weak, because I don't have convictions that I would fight to the death over. Though maybe it's not that I don't have these convictions as much as I don't have the combative and confrontational nature to fight. But isn't it a mark of strength to sit with someone whose opinion is directly opposite to yours, and look beyond that?
Today I was divine courage, thought didn't find much cause to use it. Except the courage to walk down the aisles of junk food at the grocery, and the strength to not buy anything.
I did however watch friendships of 20+ years disintegrate in a fireball of nasty words on facebook.
I like the fact that most of the time, I can state my opinion, hear a contrary opinion, and agree to disagree. Often, I will ask some questions regarding the other opinion. Not to be contrary, but because I like to be educated, and am interested in where the opposing opinion comes from. I may change camps, or again, just be content to agree to disagree.
I like facebook. Probably spend way too much time there. But I see it as a lighthearted lark. I like to see peoples' status updates - "So and so is celebrating a birthday"..."rotten day, hear moosetrack icecream and grey's anatomy calling my name"...." wishes the rain would stop"....quick, whimsical, sometimes nonsensical glimpses into their lives.
One person I know made a statement regarding the Israeli incident last week. Another person I know replied. Someone I don't know joined the commentary. It became a 3 way conversation, with name calling and hostility growing. Another friend joined in towards the end. The end result was that the whole thread was deleted, but not until well after the damage had been done, and people were "defriended".
This is obviously a hot topic. People were asking questions that were not being answered. People were so intent on making their point, they weren't reading what the other person had actually written.
Sometimes I feel... almost weak, because I don't have convictions that I would fight to the death over. Though maybe it's not that I don't have these convictions as much as I don't have the combative and confrontational nature to fight. But isn't it a mark of strength to sit with someone whose opinion is directly opposite to yours, and look beyond that?
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Intention
I'm surprised I remembered to draw a card this morning. It was garage sale day.
We set the alarm for 5 - a time I don't get up under normal circumstances, let alone a Saturday. My plan was for us to get up, move the cars, and then spend time in the garage putting all stuff into categories, so that when we went to set up the tables, it would just be a question of arranging everything.
Lately, I've been having a lot of problems sleeping. While I'm tired, it's taking me hours to fall asleep (lights off and all at 11 or so, but not falling asleep until 1 or 2). It has always taken me 15-20 minutes to fall asleep - I'm so envious of people like Andy for whom sleep seems to be instantaneous with their head hitting the pillow. During the week we have the alarm set for 6:3o, so I'm not letting myself sleep in during the day. I'm not sure why...just seems to be a phase I go through from time to time. Last night it was 2:30 before I fell asleep, so the alarm going off at 5 was not well received.
I did manage to draw the magic card, and today it was divine intention. What do I want to get out of the day. It was a good mantra for me today. It came to me that my intention for today was to have peace.
Andy is a true extrovert - he loves being in a crowd. When we had a garage sale a few years ago, he had no problem becoming "Crazy Andy with deals galore". I am an introvert - crowds, especially strangers, are a challenge for me. So tired and out of my element is not a good combination. Reminding myself that my intention was to have peace in the day helped me relax, let go, go with the flow. I think it made all the difference today.
One thing that did come of out this was a potential face to face book club. One woman was looking through the piles of books that we had, looking for one book in particular. I mentioned that I had read it, and that it was good. She said it was for her book club, and I said that I had read it for my book club.
A few years ago, I had been looking for a book club to help me get out of my reading rut - making me read books I might not have otherwise picked up. I couldn't find a real life book club, so I joined one online. I sort of fell out of the groove about a year ago. Before that I had been reading the books, and following the discussions. but not participating much.
Anyway the woman and I started talking about books and book clubs, and we kicked around the idea of starting a club for our complex. I think it would be great if we could get it off the ground. I live in a town house complex with about 200 houses, but I haven't met many of the other people, other than my direct neighbours. It would be nice to have a social outlet. I'll have to conact her later this week about seeing if this is something that we could indeed start in September.
Certainly a spontaneous turn of events to come out of a garage sale.
We set the alarm for 5 - a time I don't get up under normal circumstances, let alone a Saturday. My plan was for us to get up, move the cars, and then spend time in the garage putting all stuff into categories, so that when we went to set up the tables, it would just be a question of arranging everything.
Lately, I've been having a lot of problems sleeping. While I'm tired, it's taking me hours to fall asleep (lights off and all at 11 or so, but not falling asleep until 1 or 2). It has always taken me 15-20 minutes to fall asleep - I'm so envious of people like Andy for whom sleep seems to be instantaneous with their head hitting the pillow. During the week we have the alarm set for 6:3o, so I'm not letting myself sleep in during the day. I'm not sure why...just seems to be a phase I go through from time to time. Last night it was 2:30 before I fell asleep, so the alarm going off at 5 was not well received.
I did manage to draw the magic card, and today it was divine intention. What do I want to get out of the day. It was a good mantra for me today. It came to me that my intention for today was to have peace.
Andy is a true extrovert - he loves being in a crowd. When we had a garage sale a few years ago, he had no problem becoming "Crazy Andy with deals galore". I am an introvert - crowds, especially strangers, are a challenge for me. So tired and out of my element is not a good combination. Reminding myself that my intention was to have peace in the day helped me relax, let go, go with the flow. I think it made all the difference today.
One thing that did come of out this was a potential face to face book club. One woman was looking through the piles of books that we had, looking for one book in particular. I mentioned that I had read it, and that it was good. She said it was for her book club, and I said that I had read it for my book club.
A few years ago, I had been looking for a book club to help me get out of my reading rut - making me read books I might not have otherwise picked up. I couldn't find a real life book club, so I joined one online. I sort of fell out of the groove about a year ago. Before that I had been reading the books, and following the discussions. but not participating much.
Anyway the woman and I started talking about books and book clubs, and we kicked around the idea of starting a club for our complex. I think it would be great if we could get it off the ground. I live in a town house complex with about 200 houses, but I haven't met many of the other people, other than my direct neighbours. It would be nice to have a social outlet. I'll have to conact her later this week about seeing if this is something that we could indeed start in September.
Certainly a spontaneous turn of events to come out of a garage sale.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Divine unity
Today's card was divine unity. To feel and see how everything is interconnected.
Still feeling decidedly unconnected. Though today is one of the days that I enjoy not working. Was not feeling well, and didn't have to wrestle with the idea of "do I go in or not". Quite a luxury to not have to answer to anyone regarding this.
Spent a lot of time looking out the window today. The birds have finally discovered the feeder I set up out back. Ithink I need to move it - I think it's too close to fence - the birds seem to be hesitant about landing on it, espcially the bigger birds. For 2 days now, I've had a red winged blackbird at the feeder, I've never seen one of them at a feeder before - only on the reeds at the side of highways.
Again, I am grateful for the ravine behind my yard, brining a taste of the nature I grew up with (summers at the cottage) to my home in the city.
Tomorrow is garage sale day. The alarm is set for 5 am (ugh!) so that we can get set up before it starts. We're not even putting prices on anything - essentially everything for a quarter. It's not a matter of making money, it's just getting rid of of the stuff. If we make some cash, so much the better. Anything that doesn't sell goes straight to value village. I hope tomorrow I am divine energy.
Still feeling decidedly unconnected. Though today is one of the days that I enjoy not working. Was not feeling well, and didn't have to wrestle with the idea of "do I go in or not". Quite a luxury to not have to answer to anyone regarding this.
Spent a lot of time looking out the window today. The birds have finally discovered the feeder I set up out back. Ithink I need to move it - I think it's too close to fence - the birds seem to be hesitant about landing on it, espcially the bigger birds. For 2 days now, I've had a red winged blackbird at the feeder, I've never seen one of them at a feeder before - only on the reeds at the side of highways.
Again, I am grateful for the ravine behind my yard, brining a taste of the nature I grew up with (summers at the cottage) to my home in the city.
Tomorrow is garage sale day. The alarm is set for 5 am (ugh!) so that we can get set up before it starts. We're not even putting prices on anything - essentially everything for a quarter. It's not a matter of making money, it's just getting rid of of the stuff. If we make some cash, so much the better. Anything that doesn't sell goes straight to value village. I hope tomorrow I am divine energy.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Falling off the wagon....bump, bump
Today I am divine strength. Looking for strength in just being, trusting that you are where you need to be, and that you will get what it is you need.
Today wasn't a day to find the lesson. These last few days, I haven't been really feeling the connection to the card, or the message that is supposed to come through. Even during the era of "divine witness", I was able to get some enlightenment, even if I was frustrated with the frequency of the card.
Maybe it's just due to my lack of interaction. These days I'm really only at the gym, running errands, or home alone. With Andy's new job, he's just getting into the swing of things, and hasn't been home before 7 at all this week. We eat dinner, then retreat to our corners, and that's about it.
I did have my weight watchers meeting today. I was up .4. That isn't anything to stress about. Getting a hair cut could take care of that. What does feel good is that my leader really sees me as a pillar of the meeting. She often calls on me to help explain things to new members, and invites me to share a lot in the meetings, more so than others who have been there longer, or have reached their goals (I'm down 30.6, but still a long way from goal). It's a nice feeling though. It certainly appeals to the know it all/teacher in me.
Ah well, tomorrow is a new day with a new card (or a new chance to revisit an old card!!).
Today wasn't a day to find the lesson. These last few days, I haven't been really feeling the connection to the card, or the message that is supposed to come through. Even during the era of "divine witness", I was able to get some enlightenment, even if I was frustrated with the frequency of the card.
Maybe it's just due to my lack of interaction. These days I'm really only at the gym, running errands, or home alone. With Andy's new job, he's just getting into the swing of things, and hasn't been home before 7 at all this week. We eat dinner, then retreat to our corners, and that's about it.
I did have my weight watchers meeting today. I was up .4. That isn't anything to stress about. Getting a hair cut could take care of that. What does feel good is that my leader really sees me as a pillar of the meeting. She often calls on me to help explain things to new members, and invites me to share a lot in the meetings, more so than others who have been there longer, or have reached their goals (I'm down 30.6, but still a long way from goal). It's a nice feeling though. It certainly appeals to the know it all/teacher in me.
Ah well, tomorrow is a new day with a new card (or a new chance to revisit an old card!!).
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I surrender
Today I drew divine surrender, which is largely a variation of divine serenity.
Unfortunately, it wasn't much of a day to explore surrender, serenity, or acceptance.
I went to the gym. I came home, Andy came home. we had dinner, and we've gone to bed.
Not much was put to the test today.
Did have a very good day at the gym. Before I meet with my trainer, I have to do 40 min cardio. I spent that time on the treadmill. 6 months ago, I couldn't have done 5 minutes let alone 40 at the pace I was going. It's a pretty big improvement when I can recognize it.
Then with my trainer, I again noticed that I was running further, doing more pushups. lifting heavier weights. Again, I can see the improvement, so it must exist.
After working with my trainer, I decided to go swimming. Usually, I am so spent that I just go home and crash. But then I thought about it. I have the time to go swimming, and access to a swimming pool. It was hot and humid out. I thought about people (yes, B., I'm thinking of you specifically) who would be angry if they knew that I wasted that opportunity.
I love the water - I swim effortlessly. While running and other aerobic activities make me have to think about how and where my body is moving, swimming is completly natural. I swam for 40 minutes. The water was nice and cool, and a great way to finish off my time at the gym.
I came home. grabbed my frozen grapes and updated my blog for yesterday. I felt relaxed, and my mind was clear.
Then I crashed. I like naps.
Unfortunately, it wasn't much of a day to explore surrender, serenity, or acceptance.
I went to the gym. I came home, Andy came home. we had dinner, and we've gone to bed.
Not much was put to the test today.
Did have a very good day at the gym. Before I meet with my trainer, I have to do 40 min cardio. I spent that time on the treadmill. 6 months ago, I couldn't have done 5 minutes let alone 40 at the pace I was going. It's a pretty big improvement when I can recognize it.
Then with my trainer, I again noticed that I was running further, doing more pushups. lifting heavier weights. Again, I can see the improvement, so it must exist.
After working with my trainer, I decided to go swimming. Usually, I am so spent that I just go home and crash. But then I thought about it. I have the time to go swimming, and access to a swimming pool. It was hot and humid out. I thought about people (yes, B., I'm thinking of you specifically) who would be angry if they knew that I wasted that opportunity.
I love the water - I swim effortlessly. While running and other aerobic activities make me have to think about how and where my body is moving, swimming is completly natural. I swam for 40 minutes. The water was nice and cool, and a great way to finish off my time at the gym.
I came home. grabbed my frozen grapes and updated my blog for yesterday. I felt relaxed, and my mind was clear.
Then I crashed. I like naps.
I am divine forgetfulness...
Much as I enjoy writing this blog, I guess it's not as much a part of my daily routine as I thought. I remembered this morning as I was getting ready for the gym. So here I sit with my frozen grapes, mulling over yesterday.
Yesterday I was divine serenity. Another version of divine acceptance. In the words of the serenity prayer "to accept the things I cannot change".
I am a planner. I like to plan. I like to write to do lists (remember, theory and practice are two different things. Just because I write things down doesn't mean they get done). I like to schedule. I am flexible enough to have leaway in my plans. I plan for contigencies. Disruptions to my plans don't bother me too much.
It's little things that irritate me. I hate repeating myself. It frustrates me to no end. While I try to be flexible. it does bother me when even my contigency plans fall through.
Divine Serenity is making me step back and try to go with the flow.
Yesterday was a bad day for having to repeat myself. Just took big breaths.
Last night, Andy called and said he would be a little late for dinner - he figured it would be about 6. At 6:30 I had dinner ready. At 7 I decided to eat anyway. I put Andy's dinner in the fridge. It's not like we had plans, so I just reminded myself it was no big deal. At 7:30. I decided to go sit out front with a book, and wait for Andy on the front porch. A spur of the moment, go with the flow decision made for a lovely evening. It was cool last night, a light breeze, lots of birds flying around. I got 6 chapters a of a new book read. I only came in because my butt fell asleep. Andy finally made it home at 8:45. But he came home to a dinner waiting for him, and a calm and relaxed wife. Serenity.
Yesterday I was divine serenity. Another version of divine acceptance. In the words of the serenity prayer "to accept the things I cannot change".
I am a planner. I like to plan. I like to write to do lists (remember, theory and practice are two different things. Just because I write things down doesn't mean they get done). I like to schedule. I am flexible enough to have leaway in my plans. I plan for contigencies. Disruptions to my plans don't bother me too much.
It's little things that irritate me. I hate repeating myself. It frustrates me to no end. While I try to be flexible. it does bother me when even my contigency plans fall through.
Divine Serenity is making me step back and try to go with the flow.
Yesterday was a bad day for having to repeat myself. Just took big breaths.
Last night, Andy called and said he would be a little late for dinner - he figured it would be about 6. At 6:30 I had dinner ready. At 7 I decided to eat anyway. I put Andy's dinner in the fridge. It's not like we had plans, so I just reminded myself it was no big deal. At 7:30. I decided to go sit out front with a book, and wait for Andy on the front porch. A spur of the moment, go with the flow decision made for a lovely evening. It was cool last night, a light breeze, lots of birds flying around. I got 6 chapters a of a new book read. I only came in because my butt fell asleep. Andy finally made it home at 8:45. But he came home to a dinner waiting for him, and a calm and relaxed wife. Serenity.
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